Dynamic Sisterhood: Stories from the Strip Club - Mistress on the Mic with Mistress March feat. Molly The Mormon Stripper - host of ASK THE STRIPPER Podcast - MOTM S1E6

S1E6 - MotM - Molly P2

[: 00:00:03

Mistress March: Hello, thank you for listening to Mistress on the Mic. I'm Mistress March and I'm your host. This podcast is your spot for taboo conversations around human sexuality, BDSM, liberation Kink, and so much more.

In the last episode, part one of my discussion with Molly, the Mormon stripper, we talked about growing up Mormon, eventually leaving religion and community, and finding our way to sex work and leadership. In this portion, we're going to dive deeper into the dynamics with women.

We will talk about the way that we're seen and treated by the world, by society, by men, and by other women. We'll talk about the joys and frustrations of support, competition, sisterhood and solidarity, and our shared values about the power of collaboration and building each other up.

Without further ado, let's jump right in.

[: 00:01:02

Mistress March: Molly, what feels alive for you?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: This topic immediately makes me think of my real sisters, like my literal sisters, because I have three older sisters that really shaped me as a person and continue to shape me as a person. So that's where I came from as I entered the industry.

Mistress March: What's your relationship like with them?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Very, very close. Very supportive, very loving, very tight knit, very non-judgmental. Two of them are still Mormon. I don't really recall ever feeling like they were judging me for leaving or for the work I do. So yeah, just like extremely close.

Mistress March: I envy that so much, growing up, I had all brothers and I literally started to turn my brothers into sisters, like it's feminization, but as a child I gave them girl names and I dressed them up as girls, and I did their hair because I wanted a sister so bad.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: It is wonderful.

I'm sorry.

Mistress March: It's okay. I have found chosen family now.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Nice. So you have the sisters. Yeah.

Mistress March: But there's something so beautiful about that lifelong bond.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: You know, I've met so many women who don't have that with their biological sisters so I feel really lucky and when someone tells me they're really close with their parents, I'm always like, I feel a little jealous of that.

So I understand if someone that doesn't have that relationship with their sisters would feel like, "oh, I wonder what that's like." That's how I feel when people talk about these great parental relationships. I'm like, I don't have that.

Mistress March: You said two of them are Mormon. One of them is a stripper too, right?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. And , the other two don't, like, they let us talk about it. It's not like we don't talk about it. And they're very accepting and, that's been really cool.

[: 00:02:45

Molly the Mormon Stripper: So that was my foundation going into the industry and so I felt that there was a lot of confusion for me, Because I went from that being my entire experience, being really close with women. Of course I had like junior high and high school and whatever, but that was the way I saw relationships with women. And now I'm in this like high pressure, competitive environment. And kind of realizing at a, at a strip

Mistress March: club when you started dancing.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. And kind of realizing that I'm like, oh, this is different. Um, we don't all love and support each other all the time, and I'm confused. Why aren't we doing that? And then, really just giving a lot of that and not getting that back , for example, there's a moment I had at my first club where this woman, like the whole year I was there she was just hideously terrible to me. And this is, not a great story. 'cause there's some really bad good girl conditioning here.

Mistress March: Sure. I think we have to tell these stories though.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. But I was like always nice to her. And one day she was like, I'm never nice to you. Why are you nice to me? And I was like, oh, well, 'cause that's who I am. I'm like, who I am doesn't change because of who, who you are. I'm gonna always be who I am and who I am is like a very kind person. And some of that's some bullshit, good girl conditioning and some of that is like, that's the way I was with my sisters.

I'm like, I don't get why I don't, I don't understand this dynamic. And I did have some good relationships there and, had a mentor there that had danced a long time and was super successful. I dated her for a while and that didn't make me a lot of friends either. Let's just say I didn't have a ton of friends at that first club especially.

'cause when you get into the industry, nobody breaks it down for you, and I feel like that's probably happening in a lot of forms of sex work. Like there's not, and it sounds like you had a mentor and there is some mentorship and there is, in my industry.

Mistress March: It took me years to find mentors.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Isn't that wild?

Mistress March: Oh yeah. And I, I actually have a sister wound, like there is someone who kept me from finding that for a really long time in a really toxic way. Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. I have a lot of sister wounds, which is funny, but none from my biological sisters.

Mistress March: That's really beautiful.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: It's from the women in the industry, and I've had to learn how to be more discerning of who I'm close with or who I share information with.

Mistress March: What are some of the things that you've learned or are there things that you are really consciously trying to change and reinvent in those dynamics?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Definitely both.

[: 00:05:26

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I would always say like, so I loved mentoring, Because I had such a rough time that first year, nobody really broke it down for me.

And so you're breaking all these rules that you don't even know are unspoken rules and you're just a baby stripper. Like really fucking it up every day. And, and a lot of times there's not like this caring person

yeah. So I had a little bit of that, but not, not enough clearly. 'Cause I really got destroyed that first year. And like I said, for some reason, I came in hot, you know, like I had a skillset and I, I came in and I didn't know that. 'cause it wasn't until. A bad incident happened there that I left, and then the manager there came and visited me at my new club in Salt Lake City, which they told me you'd never make it in Salt Lake City.

They'll never, you'll never do well there. Like you're too, you know what I mean? And that's, I learned.

Mistress March: It's like a toxic ex telling you that no one will ever love you again.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: So all the clubs I've been at treat their dancers like that. Ugh. Every single fucking one like has a system of devaluing the dancers to the point that they have no self-confidence.

Yeah. And it's because they don't, and they'll, they're the worst to the people who do well. 'cause they don't want you to, they don't wanna lose you. Gosh. And so that's what I learned. It's a classic abusive dynamic. And then, and that's what I saw play over and over and over again, was that one of the managers who had been nice to me at that club came and visited and he was like, you were making more than anyone else there, like right out the gate and was giving me figures and I was like, nobody told me that.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I didn't know that. You would think like, well don't you have eyes bitch? But that first year is so exhilarating. And even to this day I haven't found that for my mental health that to pay attention to what other people are making is helpful to me. I feel like unless you are trying to help someone make money, I don't feel like it's any of your business, what other people are making, and doesn't necessarily help you in your strategy or whatever.

But I did love mentorship once I had a handle on things I really loved, like, can think of just a handful of dancers that I just helped come up and like, hit it, hit it, hit it.

Yeah. But it had to always be. Like they came to me.

Um, I tried to not like impose my thoughts or my opinions. I kind of just, if anyone reached out, I'd be like, dude, anything, what do you need? No gatekeeping here. I'm like, what do you wanna know? I'll tell you, I'll introduce you to every single one of my customers.

Because I have been privileged in many ways, and one of those ways is I had enough people interested in me all the time that I didn't even like regulars. They'd be like, well that's Molly's regular. And I'm like, never use that term. 'cause if that is a term you're using, please come introduce yourself.

Because I'm carrying a load of a bunch people that only want to talk to me around and I don't want that. I'm exhausted. Yeah. Like, please. 'cause they, 'cause that's kind of, there's like these unspoken rules, you know, that's your regular,

[: 00:08:22

Mistress March: I think it's classic scarcity. It breeds competition when you feel like there's not enough to go around.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm.

Mistress March: And so many toxic things come from that, but abundance brings in new business and then it feels good for everyone, I think. Including the client. Including the customer right?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: That's, the thing I've had an ability to see very long term. That's one of my strengths. And so to me it never made sense for someone to just come in for me.

'cause I was like, that's not a long term thing, they will tire of me or I will not give them what they are wanting or something when, what if they have a bunch of friends here? What if when they walk in the door, they're like greeted so excitedly by everyone. And so I was never, very territorial.

I just was very like, please come sit down. You see me with someone? Come say hi.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: But I don't think everyone knew that about me because I was really quiet. Really, really quiet. Very quiet. And so these, this was information I would give you if like you engaged with me. Sure.

Mistress March: If they, like if you stumbled upon it.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. Like if they were like, oh, that's your regular, I'm like, I don't have regulars, don't. Yeah. I was like, come interrupt. I'll pay you. 'Cause yeah, my social battery feels like it's like 10 minutes. And so long term, yeah I want the customer to have the best experience possible. 'Cause then they're gonna come keep coming to see us.

Mistress March: Yeah. So I have a phrase, I don't remember where I heard this, but it's. "Women are drowning, men are dying of thirst." That is very poignant. Yeah. And I think there is an infinite amount of male need for connection. And typically women are the only people that they're willing to connect with or they feel like they can.

It's safe.

And then especially in an environment like this, the amount of. I would just imagine the amount of men on a busy night in the club wanting to have a conversation, have an interaction, have that feeling of connection. Meanwhile, you're all drowning in it in terms of attention, and you've got to collaborate to manage that.

And then everyone has a good connective experience.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And that's a good feeling. When we can work together and be like, Hey, I'm, I'm tapping out. You tapping in. You know what I mean? I love that kind of energy or like I said, being able to read this isn't someone I connect with.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: So strategically, I use that word a lot 'cause I'd be thinking about it a lot and I'm like, strategically that doesn't make sense to me to keep forcing myself to be uncomfortable or make them feel uncomfortable when we just don't vibe. So if we work together, I'll make sure that you make money off the people who are like not your thing, or vice versa. And then you'll do the same when someone comes in and I'm not their vibe.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: You know what I mean? But we can still support each other and at the end of the day, you can't force people to do that, but you can encourage as much as you can and not everyone's gonna do it.

'cause some guys, as soon as you're like, Hey, can we spend money? Can we, this. And they may not like that tactic. They makes them uncomfortable or they wanna do it on their own and they don't wanna be told what to do. And some of them do wanna be told what to do. Uh, or some of 'em don't even want you to ask, They just want you to take a stack of money and throw it. And so, there's an understanding because they know where they are, and they understand that that's how this works. And they've got that kind of dough so it doesn't matter. But yeah, working together.

Yeah, that's my jam. I love that. And really just caring about cultivating a good experience for everyone, for us, for them. And that's, that's the good times.

Mistress March: I think there's something so beautiful and compelling about being around collaborative women. Yeah, collaborative, powerful women is intoxicating.

Like life changing, world shifting and I don't wanna be around anybody else. Yeah, just there's no going back. But somehow this idea that being mean, girls tearing each other down, fighting, manipulation, like what kind of toxic person? Wants that or craves that, do you think they actually, do you think that customers actually want that or the women actually want that? Or are they just playing out patterns?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Well, patterns always, I mean, I have beliefs in that, that a lot of what people are doing are just subconscious patterns that they're not conscious of But there are customers that enjoy that. They pit people against each other and they really love that drama and they live for it and they feed off of it.

So, yeah, there's some desire from some customers to feel powerful in that way, or some of them gossip more than than us, which is crazy 'cause women gossip as a survival tactic.

Mistress March: But I think that's an interesting way of seeking attention though. If you want attention from women and you've noticed that gossip is compelling and they pay attention, then maybe that's just a way to get them to pay attention to you.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Kind of like the naughty child. That's like any attention: Doesn't matter if it's good or bad attention.... It's attention. Yeah.

And then some of the women. I've had to learn throughout the years that if I really start to realize the pattern that I just have to cut them off. And that doesn't look like it. Like if I saw them, I'd pretend I didn't see them.

I'd be like, Hey, how are you? Okay, good to see you. Bye bye now.

Because I have a very deep abiding love for these women, whether or not they love me back. And it is tragic and so. I have learned there's some, I just can't.

I'm like, you cost too much. Yeah, you're too expensive. Which is usually a good thing, but in this case, I'm like the emotional toll, I can't, and maybe that's a scarcity mindset, and maybe I could work on that, but that like

Mistress March: No, I, I think there's truth to that though. Our energy reserves and the time you have in the day and your mental energy is a limited resource. And so throwing it away somewhere versus investing it in like exactly. Fertile soil where it's gonna be appreciated and it's gonna grow into something beautiful that's just exercising smart judgment there.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Trust. Because that's the thing is I've learned, I think I, I have had. Experiences where I'm like, oh, you just can't trust anybody. And then I'm like, I've learned, that's not true. It's not that you can't trust anyone. You need to trust them as they are.

You need to trust, give them the amount and the appropriate trust that you observe. So this goes back to something we were talking about before, I feel like the most successful thing I've done is to just observe people. Observe women in the industry, observe men in the industry before I engage.

'Cause I've danced at lots of clubs, statewide, nationally and internationally, and one of the things I would do was watch the way the women engaged with one another. For example, if I saw a woman who seemed like this was someone who was with her best friend or something, and then she leaves the room and then they're saying something negative about them, I be like, that's not someone I'm trying to engage with.

Mistress March: Yeah. That's a flag.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And so when I. Would go new places. I would just observe and I'd watch for red flags and I would watch for who I wanted to align myself with. And I'd watch for green flags where, someone stood up for someone when they saw something not right being done or stuff like that that I'd be like, okay, this is someone that I would more align with

and I was always kind of mama bear anywhere I went, even though like I'd be like the new girl, I'd be like, who needs snacks? Who needs this? Who needs that?

Mistress March: Is this our Mormon upbringing? I'm the same way

Molly the Mormon Stripper: probably. And, and that I was older maybe. Usually I had snacks 'cause I needed snacks. And I can't pull out snacks without offering them to everyone.

Mistress March: But, the mindset to bring extra, the mindset to be a caretaker. Not everyone has that.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah we were conditioned.

Mistress March: And I think there's beauty in that condition.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: There is, there is good things about that.

But caretaking is labor, right? And is depleting and, I think back to what you said is you find the right people to take care of because they're taking care of you back.

Mistress March: Exactly. I this, this is really core to my value of matriarchy. Where it's collaborative.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Hell yeah..

Mistress March: It's not about competition, it's about everyone helping out.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm.

Mistress March: Bring what you have and we'll do it together and the work is easier 'cause there's synergy and it's not wasted on fighting each other and breaking each other down.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And that's what's so hard for me is I'm like, why are we in-fighting? I do not understand this. It is so counterproductive.

Mistress March: Can I give you my theory?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Please help.

Mistress March: Alright.

[: 00:17:01

Mistress March: So everyone knows about crabs in a bucket, right? Like just the metaphor of crabs in a bucket. Yeah. There's this life changing little illustration. It's like a, a panel comic that I saw, and it talks about the fact that crabs do not naturally exist in a bucket.

The bucket is a system of oppression.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Oh my gosh.

Mistress March: Crabs don't tear each other to pieces in the wild. They don't. They tear each other down in a bucket. So a toxic environment, a system, a system of oppression is what creates the trauma that this competition, this scarcity, and this destructive behavior comes from.

Because if the crabs communicated and organized. They could literally lift each other up, create a chain and they could all escape or destroy the bucket. And I think the same thing exists in a strip club. The same thing exists in a dungeon. The same thing exists in society as women. And there are so many other classes of oppressed people who could overthrow the systems, but that's, that's hard to do, especially when you're in a bucket.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. That. It resonates really, really big for me. Why and how do you think we have that mindset of being able to figure it out? Does that make sense?

Mistress March: By we do you mean like you and me?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm. Like that we do you get what I'm saying? We're in the bucket too.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Is it? 'cause we watched the Matrix too many times and we're like, there is no spoon.

There is no bucket.

Mistress March: No. I don't think it came from the Matrix or not for me anyway.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Like we both believe there's a bucket.

Mistress March: I think everyone's capable of it, but you have to not lose touch with that. Um, and I think that we both had enough security in our formative years to feel safe enough as adults to think outside of the box. Does that make sense?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Or maybe our background and having a community made us realize community's important.

Mistress March: I think that's part of it. Absolutely. So I, I think, um. You know, we just met tonight, but I've, I've loved your work for a long time and I think that we,

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I love your work too, by the way. Your visuals are insane and I love your content and your messages.

Mistress March: Thank you. I think we share values too. That we care not just about ourselves, but we care about something bigger than ourselves. And I think we both know that what benefits the people like us will also benefit us.

So there's no reason

Molly the Mormon Stripper: That's exactly. The perfect phrasing that I couldn't come up with.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And I think the only way I could say it is I'm like, I see a broader way of thinking. Yeah. I see longer term.

Mistress March: Yeah. Big picture

Molly the Mormon Stripper: instead of, but when you're in crisis, it's hard to see that far.

It is hard. And that's probably has a little something to do with our privilege, right? Is that like, to a degree we've been capable of looking back and seeing the forest for the trees.

Mistress March: I mean, somehow we both made it out of a really rigid construct of religion.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: That's probably it too, is we're like: I was already in one bucket.

Mistress March: Yeah. At one point in my life I thought these were the only possibilities: That I would be a housewife, that I would be a mom, that sex was bad, that power was scary. And we, well, we watched it dissolve, but we took an active role.

And we left. And I think exposing yourself to a bigger possibility than what you ever thought existed teaches your brain and your body that in reality, that there is always an alternative. There's always something bigger. There's always another way.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm.

Mistress March: Right.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah.

[: 00:20:54

Mistress March: So these clubs that you've worked at in the past, how many of them would you say were like owned and controlled by men?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: All of them.

Mistress March: Wow. In the state, all of them. Are there any others besides yours that you know of that are owned and operated by women?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: No.

Mistress March: Wow.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. I dunno. So like, it makes me feel very stressed out to talk about it even really, because like I didn't have anyone to look at and be like, I can do that. 'Cause they did it or I didn't have anyone to look at and have mentorship with in owning a business and a bar. And so it was very traumatic

Mistress March: When there's no one who's done it a different way.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I've never, I've nothing. You like,

Mistress March: oh no, it's pioneers.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Damnit.

Mistress March: We should start like our own new celebration of Pioneer Day though and have it be like women pioneering in Utah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. And like changing business practices. I don't have like Mormon, ancestry, but if I did I'd be like, oh, that's where that spirit comes from. Because , yeah, I don't have ancestry in the church 'cause my family's not from here.

[: 00:22:06

Molly the Mormon Stripper: But yeah, I do have the pioneering spirit. But honestly like it was.

I'm sure this is so toxic, but it was something I was called by God to do. And that's the only kind of phrase I know how to use. Right. Or the universe or something. .

Mistress March: Whoever the calling came from. I, I feel the same way about domination and domination here.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: But do you kind of, but do you hate that?

Like

Mistress March: not really.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Okay. I do

Mistress March: maybe hate because try to shift that though. Like hate the language. It feels like a calling,

Molly the Mormon Stripper: it's not the language. Language I hated, it's the trauma I had to go through to do that.

I kind of am like, could you have called someone else?

Like, I didn't, I don't, I don't want to be the martyr for this.

Because it's so heavy. And, I didn't realize, like I already knew there was prejudice. I already understood a lot of this, but yeah, being a woman in a state doing something that a woman has never done in the state and mostly isn't even done in the country.

In o ne of the most conservative states. Painful.

Mistress March: Well, so Utah is consistently ranked as the worst state for women.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. For equal rights for women, right?

Yeah. That's so real.

Mistress March: It is a heavy load to be in a stigmatized, like to be doing sex work in a place where women are vilified and oppressed. To be doing that type of work for women's empowerment in the worst state in the country for women's equality.

Is heavy, but it's important.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. That's why when I say I have other skill sets, like I told you, I'm a screenwriter, I've worked in film. I have many, many credits as an actress on TV and movies. We haven't even mentioned that. 'Cause that's like, yeah, that's something I do, but that's not what we're here to talk about.

But there's so many other things that I wanna do and that I am doing. But this was the thing that I'm like, I can't live with myself and look in the mirror every day. Unless I create one, just one place where the owner isn't trying to fuck you, abuse you, financially exploit you.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And I just need, I need because like...

Mistress March: you need it to exist and if no one else creates it...

Molly the Mormon Stripper: yeah. And I was the crab kind of where I like tried to get other people on board and that was very difficult because they don't have the... I don't know.

What do you call it, the ... delusional thinking?

Mistress March: I was gonna say vision. They don't see the vision or they don't think the vision is possible.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah.

Mistress March: Or they're overwhelmed by how much work it'll take,

Molly the Mormon Stripper: or, maybe they had more of an intellectual awareness than I did about how hard it was gonna be, and they were like, I don't need that heat.

And I was like, I don't blame you. Yeah. And so.

Mistress March: They weren't self-sabotaging Masochists who take on too much.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Exactly, exactly. Over achievers. They might love themselves in a way I'll never know. And so,

Mistress March: oh no, I feel so seen. Wouldn't it be easier if we didn't? Yeah, but it's important. Can, but I can't live with myself

Molly the Mormon Stripper: like, and I know that this is some kind of psychosis.

I really do, but like I can't because I knew that I could, because like, because I was an introvert. I started to have a, a bigger presence online because I knew that that was the key to my success. Mm-hmm. And that I couldn't, I didn't have the time or energy to be successful in a real time way in the club because of my limitations.

And so I jumped kind of hard into promoting myself online, which added to my natural success I was already experiencing and my reputation I was already gaining because of my other skill sets that I came into the industry with. And then. And so it became clear with time that I'm like, oh, I could do that.

And then I was like,

Mistress March: like, open your own face. 'cause I,

Molly the Mormon Stripper: yeah. And then as that realization started to come over me more and more, I was like, oh, so I have to do that.

Mistress March: I can't unknow this possibility.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. I was like, because yeah. And then it didn't become optional. It became like, oh, I will do this and then I will go on to do the things I actually wanna do.

After I do this other thing that I have to do.

Mistress March: Yeah -for the good of everyone.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And that just, I hate that for me

Mistress March: yeah. It's heavy in a bucket, in a system of oppression, in a conservative state, it is probably a lot easier to be quiet, to be invisible, to conform, but I don't think we're built that way.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Unfortunately. And fortunately.

Mistress March: Born to stand out. Ugh. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yes, it is really heavy.

[: 00:27:01

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Um, and that is why I tried to understand power and power dynamics is I was like, I may not like, like power, but I have power. So let's figure out how we use this. How to use it consciously, how to use it consciously, and ethically,

Mistress March: so what are some of the things that you have noticed or that you're intentionally doing differently with Molly's Gemini room versus these, these...

Actually, you know what? Let's take a moment to just shine light and speak truth to power and say it's kind of fucked up that women are objectified and monetized for male profit in every other place.

Yeah. Like, oh wow.

You're, swimming against the current to be empowered in an environment where you are fundamentally being used.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I cannot tell you how incredibly furious it has made people that I've like death threats, furious.

Especially 'cause just like anything else, I put a lot of my time and effort to, it's going pretty well..

[: 00:28:05

Mistress March: And so you stole that trophy.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: SWOOP

Mistress March: You are the best gentleman's club.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Which shook me. I was like, what? Yeah. And I was so excited, but also , I did not expect that..

[: 00:28:18

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And that first year, bars and restaurants have a 90% fail.

And I knew that. And so just heavy, heavy, dark times. Hairy, times

there was a few months where like we almost didn't make it and it was very scary. And there was a competing club that called the city on us and called the DABS on us and oh my gosh.

And I just couldn't believe the amount of hate, the hate was insane. And not just from the men. A lot of the women in the industry just turned hard on me. The more I've learned about the way things work, I'm like, oh, that's natural. Yeah, that is very natural. Um, losing half your friends is natural.

Um, getting sued a bunch of times is natural because I did something no one else has done. Of course they're angry. of course they're upset, of course. Like they cannot tolerate it

Mistress March: People are afraid of change, first of all, and then when people are benefiting from the status quo, they don't wanna see that changed.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And I was saying stuff out loud, online, being like, you don't have to let these men do that to you anymore. You can come to my place. Yeah. Um, and so, yeah.

Mistress March: What are some of those things that you're like, we don't have to do that anymore. What, changes?

[: 00:29:32

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Well, I tried to reinvent the wheel and I realized that the industry was not ready for that. The amount of coming to terms with it, I had to change things in a micro level was really hard and painful for me to accept. But realizing that and then starting to change things more incrementally and then just realizing that I was doing enough.

Like I did too much. Just sitting with you don't have to protect every single person here all of the time, because that's not real. The world ain't safe.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And that's what I wanted and that's what I thought: that I could make sure nothing bad ever happened.

Mistress March: Like everything will be perfect. Always?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Every interaction here would be better and elevated and to a certain degree it is,because when you set a tone, people act differently, and our tone is different than any other club. So I do feel we have less problems because there's a tone set.

There's a little more art involved. Hmm. Like there's a lot more feminine energy.

And we get comments on it constantly.

There's a lot more variety.

Mistress March: Women have such a gift for beauty. And social grace. And ambiance. Mm-hmm. And hosting. And I can imagine that making a huge difference.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. Like I am low-key, always obsessed with us.

Like when I am experiencing being there and I'm performing, or I'm watching people perform and I'm looking around and I'm just like, oh my God, this is crazy. . Look at these people, they're so talented and amazing. And then, we get that women feel more comfortable there. I think the dancers feel more comfortable from my feedback, but the women customers feel more comfortable there.

It feels more welcoming. Yeah. That, that energy feels different from going to a male run place.

There's an expectation set. There's a mood, there's a vibration.

Mistress March: It sounds like a different culture.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah, it's a different culture. The main change to me is just existing.

So yeah, I just feel like we set a tone, but it doesn't mean that shitty shit doesn't happen. 'cause shitty shit still happens and we try to handle that and be like,

Hey, you can't do that. You can't act that way.

[: 00:31:44

Molly the Mormon Stripper: But yeah, there's a certain amount of catering to someone comes in and takes out $10,000 and everyone's gonna make a bag tonight and be able to pay their bills. What level of tolerance are we willing to have for this person? .

Or who has the highest threshold?

Because for example, me and some of the other women in the industry have developed a very high threshold for very difficult people. Mm-hmm. You know, or an armor that makes it possible for us to interact with people. And so it's kind of encouraged to let the seasoned vets handle certain people because they might be grabby, they might be this, they might be that, but,

Mistress March: and you're not gonna get rattled.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I'm 40 years old, sir, like, you're not gonna come in here and manhandle me at my bar. And so there might be some people that like, I'm gonna handle that person or someone else is gonna handle that person.

But yeah, my partner is, a veteran dancer as well.

[: 00:32:35

Molly the Mormon Stripper: And just existing as being people who understand the industry and the difficulty. I think, just coming from that position is everything.

Mistress March: Do a lot of other club owners come up that way? Or are they somebody who just sees a financial opportunity or clout and so they decide to open or invest in a strip club?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. No one is going about it that way. I've never seen that besides with us, no.

To me it seems like dudes who want to control women And abuse them .. Is chronically what I've seen in the industry and they kind of use it as like their little supply, their little cage. I don't know.

It's very strange and very toxic.

Which is funny because what we're doing makes so much sense. That's what people do. Like they are in an industry a really long time, and then they eventually might go into business for themselves in that same industry. That's a natural..like everyone understands that story arc. Right? But that's not. The way it is.

Mistress March: Well, I think here's the difference. When you see a population of people as less than you, when you come from a place of such privilege that you don't think migrant workers are human, you see them as an us versus them. You think you have a divine right to this level of power to oppress other people, and you see them as something different than you, versus seeing everyone as a person.

And you have different backgrounds, you have different life experiences. You have different skills, you have different resources it makes sense when you think everyone is equal, but there are a lot of people who don't think people are equal.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm. They don't think women are equal to them.

And below women are sex workers. At the bottom. Not worthy of respect, not worthy of even life sometimes.. They're murdered at a rate that is, you know, astronomical. Yeah. And, and so yeah, I don't see, a lot of people coming up in the industry.

I have had, this is probably why I've had some hope at the end of my tunnels, is that I have watched women get their pilot's license. You know, someone I knew at the club that was dancing, I've watched someone become a lawyer. I've watched someone, you know what I mean? Yeah. So I did have really good, smart women around me.

That were close friends.

Mistress March: I think that's the reality. A lot of people are out of touch with that reality, but even fundamentally, going back to say, who better to own a business than someone who has had contact and experience with every job that's required to make that business run, who better to run a strip club than a stripper?

Yeah. That's the truth. Who better to be a manager, a supervisor for a team of women? Than a woman. Than a woman. But the lie is women have no place in business. They're not smart enough. We don't understand how things should work, and that's a lie that we are told. That's a lie that other people buy into, and that's a construct that keeps us down so that other people can profit off of us.

But it's never meant to be exposed and keep our labor invisible. Exactly. It's never meant to be exposed so that we can profit off of our strengths.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Which is funny because behind a lot of business, men is a woman doing majority of the work. Absolutely. And that's actually what I saw that was, you know, I think part of my inspiration is I was like, none of you are running this club.

Mistress March: Yeah. The number of men,

Molly the Mormon Stripper: like the women are running this,

Mistress March: the number of men that supposedly lead kink events who are actually just exploiting women. And they're doing all the work so that he can have that clout is atrocious. Mm-hmm. Yep.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yep. I don't get it, uh, logically. So yeah, to me, what we're doing makes a ton of sense.

And, but yeah, the heat has been, uh, intense.

Mistress March: That sounds like so intense.

Has it settled down? So how, long have you been in business now?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Like a year and a half. Okay. But I acquired before that, so maybe like two years. I rebranded and I think people are starting to have some acceptance for it because they're like, oh shit, she's not going anywhere.

Yeah. This girl got grit. She's not playing.

Mistress March: Yeah.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: She's like, Nope, I'm here.

Mistress March: You got legs babe.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: So I think there's a certain level of acceptance, but the other big thing I think that happens is your capacity just grows. You know what I mean? Like you get broken over and over again and it feels so terrible and all these tiny deaths and stuff, but then a different woman grows in that place with more capacity and I would say those two things are making it more manageable and then, reading about business, trying to understand business and making lots of mistakes that I learned from and understanding delegation more, and understanding, you gotta trust people to do stuff, you gotta find your team.

Yeah. And. And dude, our team is just nuts. Like, so smart, so talented.

[: 00:37:56

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Sorry, there was a topic I wanna touch on really quick before I forget. It was about the woman I knew that, um, became a pilot. It was just that, later she wanted to come back and dance. But you have to, you can't have had a sexually oriented business license within seven years.

Is that not one of the most discriminatory?

To be a pilot? To be a pilot. And And that's the one I know about. Why? Can you imagine all the other insane discrimination things?

Oh, I think it's 'cause they're trying to tie in sex work to trafficking, which has always been the narrative, but is like categorically untrue.

Yep. Like, that's not where people are being sex trafficked.

Mistress March: Yeah. Let's talk for a minute about the way that trafficking is used to further stigmatize and oppress, voluntary sex work. They're two separate things that are often conflated,

Molly the Mormon Stripper: legal and illegal yeah,

it's, just another tool in trying to shame what we're doing. And make it taboo and make it hard and keep us from coming up, keep us from coming up and having our own power. Keep us shadow banned on Instagram because somehow in their heads, we're helping be the gateway to trafficking when there's no statistical evidence to look at that connects those dots.

Mistress March: Yeah. And the actual culprits, the actual trafficking is thriving it is not being effectively changed, fixed, remedied by the practices put in place and other things are being oppressed and held down and destroyed and, there's so much more predatory oppression by some of the measures that have been put in place.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. And to be putting the blame on people in our industry, which drives us further underground which makes it less safe for us and less safe for women in general, right?

Yeah, because one of the stories I hear is like. Let's say someone gets sex trafficked. Well, because of all the laws about sex work, now they feel like I'm gonna get in trouble.

So I can't even tell anyone I'm being sex trafficked because it's so stigmatized and the women who are being trafficked can't even reach out to law enforcement for help, because they are scared. Because often what will happen is now they're being punished, they're criminal,

Mistress March: they're held liable, they're criminally liable for the things that they were trafficked into, that they were forced into, that they were coerced.

[: 00:40:31

Mistress March: Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about the difference between decriminalization and legalization.

Are you familiar? Do you want me to, do you want me to talk about it? You wanna say?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I could try, but go for it. Um, I think what most of us want is decriminalization, right?

Because we want to be able to say we were sex trafficked. Say we were abused, say we were, be able to say anything and not be taken into jail. And not be booked. Not be charged. And that would hugely increase our safety. As people and citizens, we deserve the right to feel safe and to be safe, and we are not being granted that.

Mistress March: Yeah, so decriminalization means that.

X, y, Z thing. In this case, sex work is no longer held as a criminal act, being a sex worker, even being an escort or doing prostitution or working in a brothel, people often confuse this with legalization.

So the brothels in Nevada are an example of legalization.

And when sex work is legalized, that means that it's also regulated by the legal system. And that can become extremely toxic as well. In theory, it sounds like a good thing. It sounds like even better than decriminalization. Decriminalization means it's no longer considered a criminal act. You're not gonna be prosecuted for doing it.

Legalization means that there's proactively legal systems in place and regulation and those can become extremely predatory as well. The brothels in Nevada, the people that I know that have worked there or and that do work there still, there are so many issues. It's bad.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Yeah. I've been to one and it was very interesting and mine was random 'cause I had my car breakdown and ended up in a place and I was like, oh, is there a club I can dance at?

And they were like, yeah.

And I didn't realize it was a brothel and a dance club. Oh, wow. And so that was an experience. But yeah, I, I am in agreement that most of us want decriminalization, not legalization. And that, yes: when people are put in power of these places, they are abused.

Yeah. Like police are chronically known for abusing sex workers. It is a probability. It's not even like a maybe... it's like highly likely.

Mistress March: Yeah. And another alternative I think is the Nordic model. Are you familiar?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: I have heard of the Nordic model.

Mistress March: Yeah. What do you know about it?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: That it's good.

Mistress March: Yeah. I've heard good things too. So I was recently actually in Vancouver in Canada and had the opportunity to spend some time with a Crown attorney. So that's like their kind of. Um, it's a prosecutor. It's like the district attorney sort of, and they essentially follow the Nordic model.

So the Nordic model is known for Nordic countries, of course, where it hasn't necessarily been put into the legislation and the laws, so in some places it's actually decriminalized other places. It's just an informal thing, and a lot of places it's a non-prosecution agreement just with the district attorney or with whatever corresponding legal entity, but typically in the Nordic model.

It is not prosecuted for the seller, so the sex worker is not prosecuted and the buyer still can be. Now, the way that that's actually enforced can be different. There's places where they're still not prosecuted. Sometimes they are, sometimes it's case by case basis, but it really gives that room for sex work to exist, for people who are being trafficked to speak out and escape it without risking you know, being put into prison themselves. Yeah. I've already been victimized and now I'm gonna be imprisoned. So yeah. Just being

trafficked in a different way. Yeah. For labor.

[: 00:44:33

Mistress March: Intense. So how can we, I think, what are the next steps for Salt Lake City?

Molly the Mormon Stripper: The future looks like. Taking one step at a time and giving women voices like we're doing right now and giving them opportunities and seeing how other women are struggling in the industry or in business, and being willing to help and being willing to listen and being willing to give platforms but having realistic expectations, supporting one another and like we talked about sisterhood, like, really believing that crab in the bucket scenario that the, the way we get out is together. And together that we're stronger.

Mistress March: Yeah, absolutely. I think that number one existing...continuing to exist, not being invisible and collaborating.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm.

Mistress March: You know, you, you mentioned shadow banning, it's, it's such a small, simple example when somebody's shadow banned or when their account gets taken down.

And we are connected as a network, we can bring that sister back onto a platform if we are connected and collaborative and we've built relationships and trust. And again, for me this is, this is matriarchy. If we are connected as women, then we can call on each other when we need each other. And we're so much more vulnerable when we're isolated and we're so much stronger when we're connected.

Molly the Mormon Stripper: Mm-hmm. And that is why, you know. Systems strive to keep us not connected.

Mistress March: Yeah, just the power of women talking. Mm-hmm. Yep.

[: 00:46:26

Mistress March: Beautiful. So thank you for letting me talk. Thank you so much for coming and talking. I hope this will be the first of many conversations. That would be lovely. Okay. That's all for tonight. But I hope you'll join me next time when I welcome another exciting guest, my dear friend v, who's a board certified behavioral analyst, the co-host of the Kinky AF podcast, and a very experienced kinkster in a 24/7 BDSM dynamic relationship.

She brings a rare lens to the intersection of neurodivergence kink and the human need for structure, control and sensation. We'll be exploring how our brains and nervous systems shape our sexuality. Till next time, darling. Stay freaky.